Conversation With God

Before John died, I had a 3 a.m. conversation with the Lord one night.  I knew about the drugs.  I knew what that meant.  I had been pleading for his life, for his healing, for his willingness to get help, for his trauma - that he would accept counseling, try meds for depression, anything...something.  As his mom, my heart was broken, I didn't know what to do, and God quietly asked: "Do you trust me?"  

Do you trust me either way?   Do you trust me if the answer isn't what you were hoping for?  If the outcome isn't the answer, isn't the solution you were hoping for?  Will you trust that I know the whole picture?  That I am the creator of the universe and that John is my child first?

I cried for hours before I answered.  I begged and pleaded and I knew that I had to surrender.  I finally said "yes, I trust you no matter what.  I trust you with John's life and I trust you with mine." 

On mornings like this one, where it seems like the whole world is crashing down.  Where moms and dads are broken and I don't know how to help, where cancer seems to be at every door, where depression, pain, suffering, and anxiety are stealing life and joy, what can I do?  

I have to lay it at his feet again, and I have to trust him.  Again and again and again.  Prayer seems small some days in the face of so much hurt, but it is not.  Prayer is everything.  I feel overwhelmed some days.  I feel helpless, but I am not without help.  God is not silent.  His hands are not tied.  He is able.  

So I am asking Him to cover you all with his great and mighty wings, to send his angels to protect you.  To hold you in His mighty right hand.  To give you peace.  To comfort you.  To heal you. To wipe away your tears.  To give you hope.  To give you the hope of eternity.  Of heaven.  

We have the spirit of the living God inside of us.  That's what happens when we ask Jesus to come into our hearts.  That is powerful!  Did you hear me?  You have the GREAT I AM right there inside of you.  You are not defeated.  He is your rescue.  Please trust in Him.  Don't give up.  He will see you through this and walk with you every moment.  You are not alone.  Not abandoned.  Not invisible.  He never breaks his promises.  

Father, I lift up the hurting today and I ask you for your healing, your Presence, your peace.  Let them FEEL you in a tangible way today.  Let it be so apparent to them that they have to stop for a moment and take it in.  Let your goodness and your glory be their shield.  Lift them out of darkness today.  Cover them and give them hope.  In Jesus name.

{Microblog from my Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/portalitythoughts/ }