The Portal: Portal-ity Thoughts

John, I have to take a moment to brag on your friends.  I got a message from your friend JJ, and it was honestly the best.  It made me stop and take a look back at this week, literally one week in time - and I saw an amazing thing.  It was your friends, John. They just keep showing up in different ways, thoughtful ways, incredibly kind ways. And while I'm sitting here reflecting on it all, thanking God for it all, possibly working through an entire box of tissues over it all, I decided this is well worth writing about.  I know you are not surprised by me telling you how great your friends are.  You knew. You talked about them all the time.  You missed them so much when you weren't with them.   They've included us in exciting news - T&A are expecting!!! I know that was a tough thing for you, being so far away when they were struggling with losing the twins. You wanted so much happiness for them. You were the babies Godfather . . .❤️ And J&K invite

John - JRTC at FT Polk Words and more words.  I can't tell you how many posts I've written lately and haven't published, or I deleted them altogether.   I submitted a couple to grief sites, just because I'm drowning in them. Usually writing helps me process, but life has been unusually dark lately and nothing that's coming off the keyboard feels quite right.   Don't worry, I didn't send in the super sarcastic ones, with titles such as:  Leper, Snarky Grief, and I Wish I Couldn't Imagine, they are still in the draft file. They are TMI and word vomit.  I read one to my husband the other day -  he cautioned me not to share it.  😳There are too many words and at the same time not enough words.  Not enough of the right words.  No words to take the pain of losing John away. I found this picture of him in his iCloud.  Unfortunately, when the police released his phone, it wouldn't work anymore.  I had gone through it previously, but I was sad that