The Portal: Portal-ity Thoughts

In my last blog post, I wondered if my writing was making any kind of impact.  If I still had something to say, or if your curiosity had been sated.  Maybe the dark details of John's life and death were explained and what I had to say after a year was irrelevant or simply redundant.  I wondered if putting my heart out there and struggling through tears to pen my words was still worth it.  Still impactful. I think everyone who writes struggles with the thought that they don't have anything important to say or their words aren't meaningful or helpful.   As a bereaved parent, it can be a Catch 22 to share our truth.  I can explain how certain things make us feel to help a fellow bereaved parent, and yet, at the same time, alienate someone who feels they might have said something dumb or inappropriate. (Which I do all the time, don't sweat it).  So, while it had been very therapeutic for me to write, I just wasn't sure, that week in particular,...

Aren't they beautiful? When you lose a child, it's virtually impossible to explain how it feels, how lost and broken you are, how upside down your life and your future have become. It is utterly despairing. The only way you can get close to anyone "understanding" is talking to someone who has experienced it.   And so, over time, you form a new group of friends, they are your Grief Friends.  Today I'm going to introduce you to a few of mine.  This blog post started as a piece on the extra complications of grief, and it is turning out to be so much more.  It's my favorite, and I'm so sorry I have to write it. Losing a child is absolutely heartbreaking and indescribable, no matter the cause.  One loss is not more devasting than the next - it's all horrible.   I do, however, think some of the circumstances behind a loss can add an additional layer or layers of incomprehensible devastation that complicates that loss.   I'd like ...