The Portal: Portal-ity Thoughts

An article I wrote for Her View From Home To the Grieving Mother: You Did Everything You Could Dear Mama  – I understand how hard this is for you, as much as one bereaved mother can relate to another. I know your walls are up and your heart is broken.  You’re doing your best to get through each day when you’d really just like to just lay down on their grave or crawl into the casket and die too.  The pain is unbelievable, unbearable, beyond description. This type of loss is a little different. You’ve lost a child, but you’ve lost him or her to a darkness that’s spreading across our land at an alarming rate. It’s consuming our children.  It’s a war.  An epidemic.  A plague. You’re living part of a horrible history in our country and frankly, you cannot believe this is your life.  You’ve asked why a thousand times.  You’ve gone over every detail trying to figure out if you coul...

Nope, just a stock photo, not John's room. On the day we lost our son, mere hours after, the pastor pulled us aside for a few moments and shared with us that this type of loss can destroy a marriage. I think he may have even given us the divorce statistics.  I don't remember.  I think he prayed with us.  I don't remember.  I do remember thinking, great, devasting loss and a now a huge chance of a failed marriage besides.  I will admit to wondering about the timing, but I thank him for explaining it to us right away - because as the days went on, we definitely saw how grief can wipe clean everything in its path and leave the survivors hanging by a thread.  And while most of that day and the days after are a fog, his words stuck.  It was a kindness. After 16 months, Brian and I still handle the loss very differently. We need to respect each other's journey and have a lot of grace for each other. We aren't typically the couple that argues or...