The Portal: Portal-ity Thoughts

DAY 847 Dear John, Dad and I went to Israel.  You would have loved it.  You would have wanted to stay and join their Army.  They looked sharp in their uniform!   I know people think there is so much danger and unrest, at least us here in the US, but it’s not like everyone thinks. We are all guilty of a lot of assumptions as to what a place is really like.  Weird, really, when you’ve never experienced it for yourself, and it’s all based on the opinions of others and the media.  I felt that way before I went to New York – and it wasn’t at all what I thought it would be.  It’s like anywhere else with people, sites, food, and daily life.  How different would life be if we could all see the truth without all the haze that blinds us? Anyway, I wanted to tell you, John, that I have a whole new appreciation for Mary.  When we visited the Church of the Holy Sepulcher and stood in front of Mary’s statue, there is a sword plunged deep into her h...

Everywhere I go,  you are with me.  The memories of you, they either come along, or they meet me.   But they are always there.   I cannot escape them, nor do I want to.   I always want you with me, even if it hurts. I go to grab a coffee, you are there.   Iced Caramel Machiatto.   I go to the grocery store, you are there.   Hot sauce, cereal, Tostitos cheese dip.   Did you get chips?   Can you make that casserole? The one with the chicken and noodles, you know, my favorite?  Today I asked Alexa to turn on some music, background noise for the dog, and you are there. "I'm not alright, you're not alright . . .don't let me go". I wake up to a new message, a loss mom . . .she's struggling. Her son also overdosed, we share our stories, and you are there. I see you. You are so cold, so pale, so still.  In your Ole Miss long sleeve.  You're not breathing. You especially hang with me on Mondays. ...

Tomorrow is John's golden birthday. 🎈Happy 25th son.  I wonder what you're doing?  Your dad is on his fifth book about Heaven. It sounds amazing.  I will read those books too when I can concentrate on the words, because I know it would give me joy and peace to be able to imagine where you are and what you might be doing.  I know Heaven is not what we mere mortals imagine it to be.  It's not a 24/7 cloud sitting party, singing old hymns, across an eternity of boredom.  Not by a long shot.  Brian wonders why we don't hear more sermons on it.  Why we aren't excited about its possibilities, why our attitude is one of dragging our feet to our grave and not anticipating the day we get to go!  God is amazing - we only see a fraction of his creativity and beauty on Earth.  He has an eternity of wonder, of knowledge, of love and belonging in store for those who believe, and to us, that day is greatly anticipated, more so now that you have gone...