Soldiers/Starbucks/Tears

Today was a pretty good day.  We posted the online store to purchase memorial clothing in honor of John!  (Thanks, Terrin & Rambow!) It was exciting to see the design and all the choices.  I can't wait to get the items that I ordered - I think John would really like this idea.  We are so happy to be donating the proceeds to the Dan Baker Foundation so they can continue to help others in similar situations to ours. 

Dave and Mary Baker have been a Godsend to us. The minute they heard about John's death they reached out to us and have been there ever since. Their kids, Oliva and Alex, reached out to Kate as well, they are just so incredibly kind.  It means so much to us to have another set of parents who have walked this road, to help us understand what it looks like and feels like.  They help us realize we aren't crazy.  Mary's heart is so wrapped up in this loss of ours.  It's hard for her, yet there she is, despite her tears, standing beside us.  And Dave, he's working all hours - trying some days, to single-handedly change the world and make it a better place for us all. And, in addition, he says yes without a moment's hesitation in speaking on our behalf.   Honestly, what an amazing couple.  I appreciated Mary's honesty when she told us to remember that sometimes you just have to stay home, to say no, to grieve, to just be alone in your sadness.  To have a day or a week or whatever you need to get back on your feet - and we appreciate that.  We need to hear that.

Today was also a good day because it started with coffee. I have a new favorite thanks to Kate! Venti Flat White with Sugarfree Vanilla. Yum. It's made with whole milk and loads of creamy froth. (No wonder I'm gaining weight). In addition, I got to enjoy it in an actual freestanding store! Thanks Starbucks for remembering little old Willmar, Mn!  So far so good! And it gets better. I was joined by the lovely Hannah, beautiful and kind, and exceptionally good at party planning. So, she helped me get the apparel store online, plan decor for an upcoming bridal shower, and then, she gave me strength when the two soldiers came walking through the door.  

I'm not going to lie, seeing those two guys in their ACU's (fatigues), would have brought me to my knees had I not already been sitting. Tears. I just wanted to hug them.  For a very long and awkward time.  But, that would be crazy . . .so I refrained.  I think those ACU's bring us back to the months and months of not seeing John.  Of visiting Alaska and meeting all his friends.  Of the funeral. Of the countless digicam and multi-cam pants, blouses, backpacks, duffle bags, hats, etc, spread out all over our home when he moved back.  We were completely inundated with gear, in fact, it looked like a camo bomb went off in our home.  If John needed one he bought five.  He must have had twelve pairs of boots.  He loved his Army apparel.  Which is why we patterned the "Sheepdog" T-shirts and hoodies to look like an Army PT shirt.  So, I guess I just really love camo too.  I love what it represents.  I love who it represents.  It clearly makes me cry when it's wrapped around a soldier, but I'm so very proud of the young men and women who choose to serve our county.  

A few of John's best buddies from Ft. Wainwright - Notice John has already moved to Multi-Cam!

I couldn't believe that John went out and bought the multi-cam when he knew his honorable discharge was so close!  He was coming home, but not without a whole new multi-cam wardrobe. It is a good color on him though, it brings out the green in those hazel eyes. 

There was a newspaper article last week. Charges against a young man in this overdose case. Charges of 3rd-degree murder. There was a thoughtless comment made on Facebook - which turned into a snarky thread. I usually try and stay away from those threads,  but I kept coming back to it as it upset my family.  It seemed so unnecessary among all the anguish that two families are facing. While we applaud the hard work that has gone into this investigation, we are always mindful that there are many people affected.  

Here's the bottom line:  It doesn't matter whether or not you agree or disagree with  the DA. The DA probably doesn't care what you think. They, by the way, didn't ask what I think either, and I'm so glad for that. They just DID THEIR JOB! The fact is, the Sheriff's Department and the Drug and Gang Task Force investigated the case, thoroughly, and then gave it to the DA.  It's very hard work, sometimes dangerous work, always exhausting work. So, instead of flippantly saying you don't agree with how a case is charged by the professional men and women who are serving and protecting us every day  - go ahead and get yourself a job in politics. Be the change if you disagree. Look up the charge, see what it actually means in a case like this.   

Who amongst us has ever changed their mind about an issue after reading a Facebook post, thread or meme?  No one.  Ever.  It just causes more discord.  So, not only do we have to see our handsome son's photograph all over the paper/social media again - but we always end up fielding a dumb comment, question or a misquote. Hey, we have a lot of questions too!  I'm going to go to my grave with a thousand questions that no one can answer for me now.  So get in line. . . 

I do, however, very much appreciate the support and kindness shown by John's friends.  Your compassion and thoughtfulness do not go unnoticed.  You guys having his back and protecting his family would have meant so much to him.  

Anyway, today wasn't bad. So there's that. 😏 Thanks again for your prayers, we are surviving off of them.  God Bless.