The Portal: Portal-ity Thoughts

Hey John, do you know what's different about year six? It falls on the same day. Heads up for those of you behind me in the nightmare.  It's very weird and it brings it all back in a strangely chronological way.  I don't know how to explain it, and I wasn't expecting it. Tonight, as I sit here, I remember you coming in from the field, you and I cooking dinner together, and that extra long hug you gave me in the hallway. I miss those hugs so much. What could we have done differently? If we would have known what the morning would bring, what could we have done?  The morning of November 4 changed our lives forever, it changed a lot of lives forever. This year feels so much like that year, and not just because it all falls on the same days - but the weather and the days leading up to tomorrow have just felt so dark. I am half expecting to wake up to flashing lights, badges, and EMTs.  I went to Frieda's today with my dear friends from Bible study. They have embraced...

Last Friday we took our beautiful German Shepherd, Sarge, in for surgery.  He had a baseball sized tumor on his spleen.  The surgery went well, but he was 10, and within an hour of bringing him home, he passed away.  It was quick.   By the time we figured out that he was in trouble, he was gone. I'm so glad he knew that we came back, that we tried, that he was home, and that he was loved.  He never complained, he just loved.  He was such a good guy, our Shep.  I am going to miss him so much.   He passed away on the 8th anniversary of my Mom's death.  In a way, that is a comfort to me.  It's one of those dates that you hold close to your heart, but don't really allow yourself to visit mentally - too much.  I'm the type of person that just can't allow myself to think or dwell on sadness too long, or I'll fall into a place that's much harder to get out of.  However, watching that beloved dog leave this earth was a little ...